


Boys Running with Wolves

by tsunderei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming of Age, Fluff and Angst, Forests, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Mountains, Mythology References, Shapeshifting, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsunderei/pseuds/tsunderei
Summary: Shouyou has lived at the foot of the mountain his whole life, with the vast surrounding forest as his playground. One day he meets Tobio, a strange boy who somehow seems to know the area even better than him. Shouyou doesn’t really know all that much about Tobio but he enjoys his company and a friendship soon develops between them, a friendship that gradually blossoms into something deeper. However, Tobio has a secret – a secret that might be related to a pack of mythical wolves and the old, unsolved mysteries of the mountain.





	Boys Running with Wolves

**Author's Note:**

> So this started out as a dream I had. The dream itself was pretty stupid but the concept was writeable, and now here we are! This is not an alpha/omega thing, nor is it a werewolf thing. I guess it maybe has some vague “Wolf Children” vibes, but I like to think it is mostly its own thing.
> 
> This is actually the first time I'm writing a Kagehina fic where I'm using their first names! Haha. I've gotten very used to their family names but here it wouldn't make a lot of sense and I wanted to keep it consistent.
> 
> I have to thank the always sweet and lovely [Aira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyoto) for being such a great cheerleader while I was writing this thing and hating myself lol :V
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Shouyou is six years old when his father disappears. On a warm late summer evening the young man wanders off into the mountains to go fishing, like he’s done hundreds of times before, but this time he never returns. The disappearance is eventually assumed to be one of nature’s cruel involvements, an accident with death as the most likely outcome.

Being just a little boy, Shouyou doesn’t have many memories about his father. Detailed things such as his voice and his mannerisms are nonexistent, but when he closes his eyes he can vaguely picture his bright hair and his brown eyes, which are the exact same shade as Shouyou’s. Those small glimpses are more vivid than any photograph, always leaving lasting afterimages in his mind as well as in his heart.

The events surrounding his father’s sudden disappearance are blurry at best. He remembers his mother crying and hugging him tightly while cradling baby Natsu in the crook of her arm. He remembers all the people filing in and out of their little house for days and weeks; first as local police, then as a voluntary search party, and in the end as quiet mourners. He remembers the humid air during the day, the low clouds heavily blanketing the mountain against the backdrop of a hazy sky. He remembers lying in bed at night listening to the soft rain and the faintest howling of wolves far off in the distance. They sounded so sad, as if they were crying, too.

Shouyou has always thought of that memory as a particularly strange one. There are no wolves in Japan.

 

**

 

Ever since Shouyou was born, the wilderness has been like a bonus family member, a generous relative that’s always been around. Their house is located almost at the foot of the mountain, separated from the small village below and with a big forest surrounding it. Living so close to nature meant living on nature’s premises, and he’s been taught the do’s and don’ts of the wilderness from a very early age. It has given him a certain independence that can only be found in a country kid, an innate wisdom that makes sure he’s safe while exploring, and he’s surprisingly mature in all his childish immaturity. This hasn’t really changed much since his father disappeared. The older he gets, the more freedom he’s entrusted with. As long as he promises to keep all cautionary tales in mind, Shouyou is free to go almost anywhere on his own.

One of his favorite places is the river, and he heads out there whenever he can to skip stones. The river is a lazy one, just a narrow path of shallow mountain water quietly making its way down to the village. The forest is dense on both sides but the sun sneaks through the crooked branches to create shifting patterns on the water, like a kaleidoscope. In winter it barely freezes over but the stream can still be heard underneath the thin ice, cold and invisible. There’s a sandy bank right next to it, just a small patch with a few rocks and grassy tufts, and a swaying arch of birch trees hangs above the water. In autumn they’ll drop colorful leaves onto the surface, leaving them in the stream like small, lost boats. It’s a peaceful, sunny place and Shouyou loves coming out here, sometimes even to just be by himself.

He skips through the forest, humming a tune while expertly dodging low-hanging branches and gnarly roots, his pockets heavy with a collection of flat stones. He can hear the river just up ahead, only interrupted by chattering birds – but once he reaches the clearing he stops dead in his tracks.

Somebody else is already there on the riverbank. The person is crouched down on the sand with their face turned away, but by the looks of it it’s a boy around eight or nine years old; Shouyou’s own age. He’s busy digging narrow grooves into the soft sand with a stick, obviously preoccupied with this mundane, pointless task. Shouyou stares at the boy for a moment, his head tilted in confusion, before he realizes this could potentially be a new playmate. He grins excitedly and makes his way over. It’s rare seeing other kids from the village all the way up here, and besides he usually spends most of his free time with Natsu anyway. She’s great but she’s still small and can sometimes be kind of annoying.

Shouyou stops next to the boy, smiling brightly. “Hey! Whatcha doin’?”

He’s never seen such a jumpy reaction before. In literally nothing but a split-second the boy is on his feet, leaping away from him as though he’s got springs in his legs. His reaction is actually lightning fast, even much faster than Shouyou’s, and Shouyou considers himself to be _pretty_ fast. He watches, completely caught off guard, as the boy runs away from him.

“Whoa, wait! I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry! I’m not gonna hurt you or anything!”

The boy reaches the birch trees at the far end of the riverbank before he finally changes his mind and stops. Reluctantly, he turns around to face him. He’s a little smaller than Shouyou but not by much, and he’s dressed in simple shorts, a plain t-shirt, and a couple of worn trainers. The clothes are clean and intact but there’s something faded about them that leaves a distinct impression of being hand-me-downs. The look on the boy’s face practically radiates suspicion and cautiousness, and a pair of piercing blue eyes scowls at Shouyou from underneath a short jet-black fringe. Maybe he’s a little too alert and on edge but other than that he seems harmless enough.

“I’m sorry,” Shouyou says again and smiles, determined not to let this awry start throw him off. “I never would’ve snuck up on you if I knew you were that jumpy! I swear I won’t hurt you; I’m totally safe! My name’s Hinata Shouyou, by the way! What’s yours? I’ve never seen you before. Where’re you from? You live around here somewhere? Or are you just visiting?”

The boy just stares at him, wide-eyed, his glaring expression softening into overwhelmed speechlessness.

“I – uh –” he stutters, before shutting his mouth again. He has no idea how to deal with the barrage of prying questions aimed at him.

“Oh, I talk too much, don’t I?” Shouyou laughs sheepishly. “Okay, let’s just start with names, then. Like I said, I’m Shouyou. If you go straight through the forest –” he turns and points, “you’ll get to my house, which is almost at the foot of the mountain. I live there with my Mom and my little sister! What’s your name?”

Unsurely, the boy glances around, his hand still clutched around the small stick he used to dig in the sand. “Tobio,” he mutters in the end, looking down at his feet. “I – I live close by,” he adds vaguely and leaves it at that.

It’s a start and Shouyou is actually more than happy with this reply; at least he got him talking. That proves he’s not completely unwilling to befriend him.

“Nice to meet you, Tobio! What’re you doing here?”

“Nothing.” He shrugs and glances off to the side. “Just waiting for my, um… my brother.”

“Oh, okay! Hey, wanna skip stones or something while you wait?” Shouyou digs his hands into his pockets and pulls out a double handful of stones. “I’ve collected all of these good ones. I’ll share them with you!”

“Really?” The other boy looks surprised, as if this offer is exceptionally generous. “You don’t… mind?”

“Of course not! They’ll all end up in the water anyway. Come over here, then.” He waves Tobio closer and instructs him to hold out his hands. “The one who manages the most skips wins, okay?”

Tobio’s eyes seem to light up at the mention of a competition. He nods firmly, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Okay.”

It turns out that Tobio is really good at skipping stones, so much that Shouyou actually envies him a little. He’s either done it many times before or he’s just got a knack for it. In the end he wins with eleven skips, which is _a lot._ Shouyou has ever only managed six at the most – and he was really proud of that. His new friend is kind of strange but in a good, intriguing way. He seems a lot different from the other kids in the village; he just can’t quite put his finger on _how_. He seems so… in tune with nature, but at the same time he’s not quite on the same wavelength as Shouyou. He can’t deny that he’s curious about this boy and that he really is dying to get to know him better, but all of his questions remain stuck in his throat when someone calls out Tobio’s name.

They both turn around to find another boy emerging from the forest. He looks almost old enough to be a teenager and is wearing the same type of simple clothes as Tobio. He’s good-looking, with wavy brown hair parted in a cowlick, and he stares at them with a gaze that’s both stern and observant. This must be the older brother they’ve been waiting for.

“Come on, let’s go,” he says to Tobio, without even addressing or acknowledging Shouyou in any way, which is surprising and frankly kind of rude.

What’s even more baffling is that Tobio responds immediately. Shouyou had honestly taken for granted that he’d put up more of a protest, or at least introduce them before running off. Instead he whispers a barely audible “bye”, quickly leaving a confused Shouyou behind. They were having fun, weren’t they?

“I told you not to speak to anyone,” the other boy scolds him under his breath. “Be more careful, stupid.”

His words are harsh but the way he takes Tobio by the hand is gentle, protective almost. As they leave the older boy throws one more glance over his shoulder, brown eyes narrowed in a frown. If Shouyou didn’t know better he’d say there’s something in his look that suggests he somehow recognizes him, except that’s impossible; he’s never seen either of them before. They continue into the forest and soon they’re out of sight.

 _Well, that was weird,_ Shouyou thinks, staring absently into the dark emptiness between the trees.

There’s no way they’re from this area. It’s a small community, he knows everyone, and word travels fast whenever newcomers move in or strangers pass through. Yet Tobio said he lived somewhere close by and the only thing close by is the village. Anything else is nothing but forest and beyond that, the desolate mountains. Maybe Tobio just has a very generous view on what he considers to be ‘close’, but if he wasn’t talking about the village then that only leaves ‘nowhere’. And people don’t live ‘nowhere’. Shouyou just can’t make sense of it.

For the rest of that summer he returns to the same spot nearly every day in hopes of seeing Tobio, but to his great disappointment and for reasons unknown, he never shows up again. For several years the black-haired boy remains an elusive mystery, and in the end the memory of his serious face fades into the back of Shouyou’s mind.

 

**

 

The summer Shouyou turns seventeen is exceptionally hot. The stifling humidity has him sleeping poorly at night, constantly kicking his blankets and waking up warm and sticky all over. The worst part of it all is that he has to bike six miles to and from school every day, and going home is quite literally an uphill battle. Thankfully the thick forest engulfs the road in shadows but it doesn’t change the fact that the last couple of kilometers are exhaustingly steep. He still has to get off and push his bike the rest of the way.

Today is no different. He has made it halfway up the hill, trying to focus on the monotone rattling of the wheels instead of the sweat pouring down his face. His head is full of small, pointless worries – the upcoming quiz he hasn’t even started studying for yet, the forgotten permission slip for a field trip crumpled up somewhere in his bag, the chemistry textbook he keeps abandoning in his locker without meaning to. He can’t wait for summer vacation.

He’s absently wondering what’s for dinner, really hoping it’s curry, when a sudden rustling from the nearby bushes catches his attention. Shouyou slows down to a stop and squints into the dense forest. The sound comes and goes, accompanied by snapping twigs, steadily growing louder. He takes half a step back and in the next moment a large shape jumps out of the shrubs and lands in front of him.

The sight is surreal, to say the least. He finds himself staring at a wolf – and a gigantic one at that. The only wolves he’s seen in real life were on display in a museum, and those were all stiff, empty, and _small_. This one is highly alive and nearly twice the size of a common gray wolf, with entirely pitch-black fur and eyes so blue they’re almost transparent. Shouyou clutches the handlebars of his bike, frozen on the spot. Just the sight of the wolf is so unexpected he completely forgets to be scared.

The wolf appears to feel the same way. It stares at him for a long moment and slowly tilts its head, its mouth dropping slightly open, as though in surprise. Shouyou can see the tip of a pink tongue, a glimpse of sharp teeth, and the strangest clarity in its eyes. For a second it looks almost human, like it’s staring at him in recognition. Then it snaps out of its trance, a tremor shooting through its body, and it takes a split second for the beast to leap into the bushes on the other side of the road and vanish in direction of the river.

It’s not until it’s gone that Shouyou realizes he’s shaking. He’s almost lightheaded from the tension. His hands are clammy, his heart racing wildly, and his shirt is entirely soaked through. He takes a deep breath to calm down and tries to collect his thoughts. That was positively the strangest encounter he’s ever had with a wild animal, and he’s come across a wide variety in the short span of his life. Thinking about it rationally, though, it couldn’t possibly have been a wolf. The fact that there are no wolves in Japan completely refutes it, and even if there were they would certainly not look like that. _No_ wolves look like that, to Shouyou’s limited knowledge. Maybe it was just a dog on the loose, a really big, black dog. He can’t think of anyone in the vicinity who owns a dog like that, but it could have run away from anywhere. Big canines are capable of covering large distances in mere minutes, aren’t they? He frowns, utterly confused. For some reason that explanation doesn’t sit well with him either. There was nothing about the animal that suggested it was someone’s pet.

For the rest of that afternoon Shouyou can’t seem to get the black wolfdog out of his mind. Something about the creature’s expression had been so compelling and expressive; to the extent animals _can_ be expressive. He always thought the stray village cats had distinct personalities that sometimes showed on their faces, but this wolf had been completely different. He can’t shake the strange feeling that the animal recognized him somehow, which is of course both impossible and ridiculous. That feeling alone is enough to forget about the issue altogether – and yet he can’t stop thinking about it.

He eats dinner in distracted silence, rushes halfheartedly through his homework, and slips quietly out of the house. It’s probably – _definitely_ – a bit stupid trying to follow in the wolf’s footsteps but the amount of fear he feels is nothing compared to his level of curiosity. Growing up with untamed wilderness right at the doorstep leaves lasting impressions on young adventurous boys. His need to explore is something he’s always been unable to ignore. Besides, the wolf is probably long gone by now anyway.

Shouyou heads for the river, jogging along the usual well-trodden path through the undergrowth of the forest. The early evening sun hangs low in the sky, almost touching the horizon, and the slowly dying sunlight bleeds in through the treetops. The birds are out of sight but he can still hear them sing somewhere above his head, their cheery banter growing fainter as he closes in on the bubbling river. He doesn’t know why but his heart is racing with anticipation and nerves, and when he finally breaks through the tangle of shrubs and steps onto the riverbank, his heart skips a long beat. For a second he simply stares, wondering if he’s actually traveled back in time to relive that one summer day when he was nine.

Another boy is there already, skipping stones. In his momentary speechlessness, Shouyou counts an impressive eighteen skips. He wants to say something but before he can even open his mouth the boy abruptly stops. Slowly, he peeks over his shoulder, his eyes widening with an odd mix of horror and surprise when he sees him.

Shouyou takes in the sight of his simple clothes, his raven hair, his stunningly blue eyes, and he huffs out a small, astonished giggle. Sure, the boy is older now and he’s grown a bit – _a_ _lot_ , actually – but there’s absolutely no doubt in his mind.

“It’s _you_!”

Warily, the dark-haired boy takes a step back and fixes him with a sharp glare, which only makes him look more familiar.

“It really is you! Tobio, right?” Shouyou beams at him and moves closer. “We skipped stones together that one time, remember? I never thought I’d see you here again! I’m Shouyou!”

“Okay…” Tobio says slowly, and unsurprisingly his voice is much darker than Shouyou remembers. Obviously it broke a long time ago. “You’re Shouyou,” he repeats, looking a bit confused even though he doesn’t sound that way at all. He glances at the remaining stones in his hand as if they’re ancient relics from the past and nods. “I – I remember you.”

“It’s been years, literally! Honestly I just went here looking for a wolf, I totally didn’t expect to find _you_ instead –”

Tobio whips his head up. “A – a wolf…?”

“Seriously, a _wolf_! A huge, black one.” Shouyou gesticulates in wide arches to illustrate. “I saw it earlier today; almost ran into it, actually. Crazy, right? You should be careful, hanging around here alone.”

“Uh… Sure it wasn’t just a dog…? There aren’t any wolves in Japan, you know.” He looks away and shrugs. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Yeah…” Shouyou narrows his eyes at him, trying to catch whatever strange emotion it is that flits across his face, but it’s gone before he can even think twice about it. “You’re right! It was probably just a dog.” He smiles easily and changes the subject. “So what’re you doing here anyway? Waiting for your brother again?”

“My brother?” Tobio just stares blankly until something seems to dawn on him. “Oh – my brother. Yeah. Um… no. I came here alone this time.”

“So that means we can hang out?”

The suggestion almost startles him, like this was the last possible thing he could have anticipated. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, searching for words, somehow reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights. It’s such a comical contrast to his tall stature and intimidating aura that Shouyou has to bite his lip in order not to laugh.

“I mean, we don’t have to right _now,_ ” he adds quickly, feeling bad for putting him on the spot. “But you’ll be in the area, right? So maybe we can meet up every now and then? What’s your number?”

Tobio’s face falls a little. “Actually, I… I don’t have a phone.”

“Oh.” Shouyou frowns at this for a second but then shakes his head, unconcerned. “It doesn’t matter! Let’s just make this our usual meeting spot, then. Maybe tomorrow afternoon? Does that sound good?”

Tobio awkwardly rubs the back of his head, a small blush spreading on his cheeks. It’s as if nobody ever asked him something like this before and Shouyou feels a sad little tug on his heartstrings.

“Okay, sure.” He peeks at him from underneath his black fringe and smiles carefully. “Fine by me.”

 

**

 

For some reason, Shouyou gets the feeling that Tobio considers him to be a safe, non-threatening person. There’s something subtly vigilant present in Tobio’s personality, a special trait that lies somewhere between shy and observant. He can’t really explain it but he’s kind of honored that this tense side of Tobio becomes less pronounced the more time they spend together. He feels like he’s been accepted, somehow. He doesn’t know _why_ it matters but it seems like it does – and it’s nice.

Overall, Tobio is a guy who’s hard to explain. He tends to give off a first impression of unwarranted arrogance, much thanks to his taciturn nature and stern appearance. He can be moody and short-tempered, his language is sometimes unfiltered and rude, but on the other hand Shouyou finds him to also be very thoughtful, sensitive, and easily flustered. He’s quick to anger but it blows over almost immediately. He’s competitive by nature and a terribly sore loser, but he’s also fair and appreciative and knows to give credit where credit’s due.

The more Shouyou gets to know him, however, it also becomes obvious how much he _doesn’t_ know. There’s still an air of mystery surrounding him and he’s good at keeping it that way. Shouyou thought _he_ knew the forest like the back of his hand but Tobio’s knowledge extends further, revealing all these hidden nooks and crannies that he wasn’t even aware existed. It’s a goldmine for brave teenage boys but it’s also weird for Tobio to be so familiar with the area, seeing as he’s apparently been living elsewhere for so long. Shouyou can’t tell if he’s actually roamed the forest a lot or if he just has a really good sense of direction. In any case he’s definitely an outdoorsy person. He’s sure-footed and never gets lost, and despite his reclusive tendencies he’s obviously an athletic, well-fed teenager.

“My family moves around a lot,” he explains when Shouyou asks how come he’s never seen him at school. “I’ve mostly been homeschooled.”

He pushes a low-hanging pine branch out of the way and takes care so it doesn’t hit Shouyou in the face before he lets go of it.

“Aw, man, homeschooling sounds _so_ relaxing,” he sulks, envious. “What do your folks do, then, since you have to move around so much?”

“A few of my older brothers take on odd jobs here and there but most of the time we’re pretty self-sufficient.”

“So… you guys are like farmers?” Shouyou asks, confused.

“Not really…” Tobio shrugs and keeps walking. “But we do live off the land. Sometimes we just have to move to where it’s the most, um… sustainable? It depends on the season so we either move to a new place or we come back after a while, like we did with this area. We don’t always stay in the same place.”

The way Tobio talks about his family, most of the time as his ‘brothers’ or ‘sisters’, leaves Shouyou wondering if he might be part of a religious cult or something. Some of them do tend to live modest, sheltered lives. Of course he might just have a lot of siblings but he never talks about his parents or any other elders in charge. At the same time he doesn’t act nor talk like he’s part of a religious community of any kind. Although he’s more cautious than other boys his age he seems generally free and unbiased. It doesn’t make sense that he should be part of anything that could restrict him.

“Well, I hope you do stay this time,” Shouyou remarks, without really thinking.

He immediately blushes when Tobio stops in the middle of the path and turns around to face him, his eyebrows raised in a question.

“I – I mean,” he stutters quickly, “I like hanging out with you and you know about all these fun places! Besides, you’re kinda the first friend I’ve had who also lives in the middle of nowhere.” Embarrassed, he looks down and kicks dully at a root poking from the ground. “So… I hope you’ll stick around for a long time.”

Tobio looks thoughtfully at him for a moment but in the end he smiles, just a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah,” he agrees. “So do I.”

Shouyou catches a glimmer of soft blue and a glimpse of pink-dusted cheeks before Tobio turns his back on him again, and his chest fills with a wild surge of delighted emotions. The boy might be an open mystery but Shouyou seriously can’t help but enjoy his presence.

 

**

 

They spend most of the summer in each other’s company and Shouyou has to admit he’s had the time of his life. He’s discovered so many new corners of the endless forest, and he can’t even recall a summer that was ever this exciting and eventful. He can’t remember finding any of his other friends as fascinating as Tobio, either. He’s only known him for a couple of months but it feels like they’ve been friends forever. In many ways being with him is a unique experience, so much that he hasn’t even told anybody else about him. Sometimes he’s really tempted to, just so he can share the fun and show people how amazing the boy is, because he truly is great. But for some reason he senses that Tobio would appreciate if he _didn’t_ tell other people about him. He doesn’t really get it but he doesn’t want to bug him about it, much like he doesn’t want to bug him about where he actually lives. Like so many other things, that is still a mystery. Tobio won’t tell him and Shouyou won’t ask, and that appears to be the unspoken agreement between them. And if they have fun anyway then there’s no harm done. It’s not his business.

“Hey, how do you know about all these places?” He looks up at Tobio’s broad back as they’re once again struggling through the thick undergrowth. “I’ve lived here all my life but all of this is new to me.”

“What do you mean ‘how’? I don’t know how. I just do, I guess.”

He pushes through the final tangle of shrubs, revealing what has quickly become Shouyou’s favorite spot. Hidden there in the depths of the forest, surrounded by steep rocks and tall trees, is a natural deep pool. It’s complete with a small waterfall of cold and clean mountain water, an overhang perfect to dive from, and warm sunlight that hits the area directly, especially on early mornings like this one. It is the best place to cool down and they’ve been here several times during the summer.

“Last one in the water is a dumbass,” Tobio smirks, already wringing his shirt off.

“Oi, that’s a head start, you jerk!”

Most of the morning is spent just playing in the water and trying to beat each other in various pointless competitions, such as who can hold their breath the longest or who can manage the most ridiculous dive, and then squabbling over who the winner is. The sun grows more intense the higher it rises and Shouyou rubs worriedly at his sunburnt shoulders. He’s noticed that Tobio doesn’t have that problem. Instead he’s gotten a nice summery tan and it doesn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. He looks really good with it, though, which is another thing Shouyou has noticed. Tobio looks good. He’s actually a very handsome boy. Shouyou realizes he’s openly staring at him. His heart stutters and he shakes his head, determined not to think about his friend like this. That’s just weird.

After a few hours they haul themselves out of the water and onto the sundrenched rocks nearby. They share a bag of trail mix and Shouyou takes in the scenery surrounding them. It’s a secret gem that appears to have been left completely undisturbed for several years and he can hardly believe it. It’s almost like magic.

“Seriously, though, how _do_ you know about all these places?” he asks curiously. “How come I’ve never managed to stumble across something like this, not even by accident? So unfair.”

“It’s not unfair, it’s just simple,” Tobio says matter-of-factly and shrugs. “You just have to take one more step. The place obviously exists but most people tend to turn around before they see it. They could have gotten there if they kept going but most people don’t. I think they’re usually just scared; of the dark, of getting lost, of wild animals, whatever – and so they’d rather chicken out. I bet you’re scared of all of the above,” he adds, smirking.

Shouyou squawks indignantly. “Am not!”

“Are too, you needed my help to get here,” Tobio concludes smugly. As if that settles it he runs a hand through his wet hair and tilts his head back, closing his eyes against the sun.

Shouyou huffs and hugs his knees. Annoying as he might be, he has honestly never heard anyone else his age talk the way Tobio does sometimes. Maybe he doesn’t always think twice or filter his words before he speaks, but every now and then he comes up with something profound like this out of nowhere. Shouyou looks up at the other boy’s profile, taking in his sharp jawline, the dark strands of hair plastered to his temple, the drops of water running down his throat. He really is very handsome…

And he’s staring again. Shouyou quickly looks away before he’s caught red-handed doing something that surely must be very bad and busies himself with the string in his swim shorts, his face burning. He can’t think of anything more embarrassing right now than to be caught staring at another boy.

 _Who are you?_ he wants to ask, but instead he mutters, “You’re weird.”

Tobio shoots him a sideways scowl, eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“You said people miss out because they stop before they get there, but obviously that’s never happened to you. I guess that must mean you’re not like other people?”

“I said _most_ people, dumbass.”

“Oh, of course,” Shouyou laughs. “So you’re not like _most_ people, then?”

He half expects a grumbling response and possibly a grab for his head, but instead Tobio gazes out at the still water, his frown softening. “Yeah,” he agrees quietly. “Maybe I’m not.”

He remains silent, picking absently at the hem of his shorts, and the sudden change in him sends a jolt of panic through Shouyou. That wasn’t the reaction he expected or wanted. He isn’t sure exactly what he did or said to bring about this particular mood; all he knows is that he really hates seeing that expression on him.

“I like that, though,” he blurts out, his words way ahead of his thoughts.

Tobio looks up. “Huh?”

“Um, I mean, I like... I’d like… to – to race you to the overhang!” Shouyou rephrases quickly and points across the pool, smiling nervously. “Last one jumping in the water is an even bigger dumbass.”

There’s a second’s pause where they both just stare blankly at each other. In the next moment they’re on their feet, pushing and shoving as they run barefoot over the mossy ground. Thanks to annoyingly long legs Tobio reaches the overhang first, but Shouyou is right on his heels. He grabs onto his wrist in a last-ditch effort to stop him but he can almost immediately tell that his plan is going to backfire. He only catches a brief glimpse of a triumphant grin before Tobio jumps into the water anyway, easily pulling him along.

They go under the moment they hit the surface. It’s not a great plunge but the pool is very deep, and Shouyou feels himself dragged down by the surge his body creates. For a second or two he’s not sure what is up or down. Disoriented, he opens his eyes, blinks a couple of times to adjust, and sees a hint of sunlight reflected above him. Looking down there’s nothing but dark water and his own pale body, and he realizes his hand is still holding onto Tobio’s wrist. When he looks up again he meets Tobio’s steady gaze. His dark hair forms a soft halo around his head, his eyes intensely blue even under water, his usually tanned skin a mosaic of marble hues. Tiny bubbles escape his lips, drifting upward into nothing, and Shouyou seriously can’t stop staring this time.

He completely zones out for a moment, like a switch flicking his consciousness off and then on again. There’s a small gap in time where he has no recollection of moving or thinking or doing anything whatsoever. All he knows is that when he snaps back into it, he’s kissing Tobio. Shouyou knows he must have made the move himself because his arms are wrapped around the other boy’s shoulders, pulling him flush against him. Even like this, Tobio’s lips are soft, almost pliant, and he never knew before how surprisingly warm his body is. There’s only the two of them in this moment, lips connected, floating in a pocket of silent, summery water. Shouyou is having his very first kiss submerged in a forest pool and it seems to last forever.

The moment is shattered when the pressure on his eardrums suddenly increases and his lungs start begging for air. He tears himself away from Tobio in one fluid motion and kicks as hard as he can to reach the light above him. When he breaches the surface he inhales sharply and shakes his hair out of his face. His eyes are stinging and his head is buzzing but he knows it doesn’t have anything to do with the cold water or holding his breath for so long.

“Would you mind it if I’m not like most people?”

He whirls around at the sudden question and finds Tobio treading water next to him, chest heaving.

“What–?”

“If it turns out that I’m not like most people… would it bother you?”

Shouyou stares at him in confusion. “No…? I – I mean – okay, I don’t really get what you’re asking.” He flails his hands helplessly, splashing the water a bit. “But I don’t really care? If you’re weird or asocial or a dumbass or whatever – it doesn’t matter to me. I guess I just – I got a crush on you or something? I’ve at least developed some – some feelings for you over the summer, I think. Either way I just k-kissed you, so there definitely must be a good reason, right? And god, I’m so embarrassed and _so_ sorry –”

“Don’t be.” Tobio interrupts his rambling speech. “It’s fine. I – I don’t mind, either. That you kissed me, I mean.”

He closes the distance between them with a couple of strokes and without another word he leans in and kisses him again, as though trying to get across just how much he doesn’t mind. It’s an awkward, hesitant kiss but Tobio’s lips are even warmer and softer than they were under water. The overwhelming heat radiating from his body, the weight of his hands on his shoulders, the soft breeze against their skin – it’s almost too much and they have to break apart because Shouyou completely forgets to tread water. Everything has left him weak and trembling, like he’s about to melt away. There’s a breathless moment of silence between them where all they can hear are the rustling leaves and singing birds and the world seems so small.

“Shouyou,” Tobio says, his name escaping his lips in a tone so low and quiet it almost has him sinking again. “I feel the same way.”

Shouyou looks into the depths of those expressive eyes and he already knows the real reason he hasn’t told anyone else about him. Deep down he’s known all along. He just wants him to himself.

 

**

 

Late summer fades into early autumn, leaving cooler winds and cloudier skies in place of the harsh heat and humidity. Shouyou, who has always been curious but never truly in love before, gets to experience firsthand how emotionally chaotic and wonderful it can be. It’s a very new thing for the both of them, they’re embarrassed and awkward even though the feelings are mutual, but what’s left of summer is still spent bravely pursuing sneaky kisses and shy touches.

The last weekend before Shouyou goes back to school Tobio suggests they go on a longer hike. The trail is steep, rough, and badly overgrown, but their destination overlooks the entire village and the view is supposedly very beautiful up there. Shouyou wants to see it partly because he’s intrigued, but mostly because it kind of feels like a date. Or at least it’s what he imagines a date would feel, since this will in fact be his first one ever. It’s also Tobio’s idea alone, which makes everything extra special and precious; this is something he came up with by himself and Shouyou’s cheeks keep flaring up whenever he thinks about it. This summer has consisted of so many firsts.

With school coming up fast he’s been worrying about their frail transition from friends to… well, something _more_ than friends. Mutual feelings aside, they haven’t talked about it yet, even though they probably should at one point. There are still so many blank spots about Tobio waiting to be filled, but he honestly finds it more interesting than alarming. The bigger issue is that Shouyou has something to lose now, something that’s very real and tangible and _good_ , and the fear of everything suddenly turning weird or distant is sometimes overwhelming. Maybe he’s already too invested in a romance that will only dwindle into a summer fling, but he’s just a teenager. Shouyou would much rather go all in and risk the possibility of getting hurt instead of downright ignoring his feelings. He’s never been very good at that anyway. Besides, this particular experience has turned into his favorite part of forest exploring. He doesn’t want to think that far or seriously about it yet. It’s perfect right where it is at the moment.

It takes them almost an hour to reach the lookout. A small quarry makes up the last hundred meters, together with an array of thick bushes. Shouyou keeps his eyes trained on Tobio’s back as he deftly guides them through the unruly terrain. The forest has opened up around them, and the once encroaching pine trees have mostly receded into distant peaks scattering the mountainside.

“Almost there,” Tobio says and points. “I’m sorry this turned out to be such a long trek,” he adds apologetically, hardly even breathless. “It was a lot farther than I thought…”

“It’s okay,” Shouyou says as lightly as he can manage. He’s about to add a lie about how he’s not tired when he looks up and sees Tobio extending a hand to him.

“We’re here now, though.”

He grabs him firmly by the wrist, easily pulling him the last bit to the top.

The wind is refreshing at this height where it’s given plenty of open space to dance around freely. Shouyou lets it cool the sweat on his neck and temples before he takes a careful step closer to the edge – and the view has him gasping softly. He’s never seen the village from this angle before; he’s never climbed this high. He can spot his house at the edge of the forest, just a dot in the shadows, tiny enough to pinch between two fingers. The winding road emerges as a thin snake curving through clusters of birch and pine trees, racing past the drying lavender fields, and ultimately blending into the small village below. It’s like watching one of those bottles containing miniature landscapes. It’s a perfect picture that fades into the small glimmer of ocean in the distance, where everything turns a sunlit pastel blue.

“Wow,” he breathes, mesmerized. “It’s beautiful.”

He turns around and spontaneously blushes when he finds Tobio staring at him instead of at the view.

“It really is,” he agrees, a small yet satisfied smile playing on his lips. “I brought watermelon, by the way. You want some?”

He shrugs his backpack off and sits down on the nearest rock, and something twists in Shouyou’s chest. Tobio looks happy. He looks genuinely happy in a way he’s never seen before and for some reason it’s making Shouyou so emotional he has to stop and swallow back tears before he can speak.

“Hey, Tobio,” he finally says, sitting down next to him. “Um… Thanks.”

“Thanks? For what…?”

“For bringing me up here. For bringing me _everywhere._ And, you know, for letting me spend time with you. I’ve already said it but…” Shouyou hesitates for a moment, biting his lip. “I really, _really_ like you. For me you’re a whole new world. I’d be very happy if it could stay that way.”

He leans closer, eyes fluttering shut expectantly, and he would have kissed him if it hadn’t been for the sudden rustling coming from the shrubs behind them.

Immediately, Tobio turns in direction of the sound and slowly rises to his feet, eyes fixed on the darkness between the greenery. The rustling intensifies and Shouyou’s heart beats fast and hard, his terrified mind already conjuring up memories of the big black wolf he once saw. Instead, a pair of antlers floats into view, followed by the majestic head of the biggest stag he’s ever seen. The animal stops chewing on its mouthful of grass and stares at them, spooked, before it turns tail and disappears back into the bushes.

Shouyou exhales in relief. “Whoa, that scared me! Seriously, that was –”

He looks over at Tobio and abruptly cuts himself off. He can feel his own mouth falling open while he just stares – and then stares some more. He blinks – one time, two times, three times – blinks so hard he’s seeing stars but his brain still can’t comprehend what he’s looking at.

Somehow, during the few seconds Shouyou wasn’t looking, Tobio’s face has changed. It’s not a change in his expression, nor is it a change in his mood. It’s not subtle or even abstract at all. Tobio’s _face_ has physically _changed._

At first glance, the most jarring difference is the new pair of ears. They’re big and pointy, like oversized dog ears, erasing the spot where his actual ears should be and continuing to grow up and above the top of his head. They merge seamlessly with the black hair at his temples, pulling it tight. He’s still staring into the bushes where the stag disappeared, completely transfixed, and these pointy ears are actually _moving_ , as though they’re trying to localize the escaped animal.

“Wh-what – what’s going on–?”

At the sound of his voice Tobio whips his head around to face him and Shouyou recoils in shock. His eyes are wider and rounder, morphing into an intense, icier blue, the pupils contracting into sharp discs of bottomless black. Shouyou can’t recognize anything human in them – nothing at all. He also notices his teeth; his corner teeth. They’ve grown sharper and longer, like fangs, and he’s staring at him with something purely feral in his expression. Shouyou just doesn’t understand. He couldn’t possibly begin to understand this. He wants to pinch his arm to check if he’s having a nightmare but truth is he’s too terrified to move.

“T-Tobio…?”

It’s the mention of his name that seems to jolt Tobio out of whatever trance – whatever _transformation_ – he’s caught in. Something familiar flits across his features, very quickly, flickering in and out of his expression like a dimming light. He slowly brings a hand up to his face, trembling fingers reaching to cup the back of his pointy ears. His breath hitches in his throat, a heartbreakingly human sound, but when he exhales it sounds like a deep growl coming from his chest. The gravity of the situation finally hits him and a glimmer of pure terror surfaces in his eyes. He stares at Shouyou before he swiftly turns around and makes a run for it.

“No – Tobio–! Wait!”

This time he doesn’t stop to listen. He’s out of sight in a heartbeat. The echoes of rustling leaves and snapping branches continue far into the forest before slowly fading out, and in the end Shouyou is only left with faint birdsong.

The magnificent view now completely forgotten, he grabs his abandoned backpack and sets off after him as fast as he can, but it’s obvious that Tobio has long since outrun him. He fights his way through the overgrown path to the best of his ability and finally stumbles upon Tobio’s clothes further down the trail. They’re all torn to shreds, ripped to near unrecognizable pieces, as if he literally burst right out of them. Shouyou picks up what he thinks used to be part of his t-shirt, turning it over in his shaking hands.

“What the hell,” he mutters under his breath.

All of this presents itself as completely impossible, even though he knows perfectly well what he just saw and what he’s looking at right now. He’s not crazy; that wasn’t a disturbing product of his imagination running wild, nor was it some kind of odd reality distortion. It wasn’t a weird, tasteless joke. What just happened actually _happened._

Shouyou doesn’t understand, though. Tobio changed – but into what? Into an animal? Into a dog? Or maybe… He’s hardly even breathing, his heart pounding in his chest.

Maybe he changed into a wolf.

 

**

 

School starts again and Tobio seems to have vanished into thin air. Shouyou hasn’t seen even the faintest trace of him. Not that he actually expected to. The incident, whatever it was, probably isn’t something that can be easily explained. Maybe Tobio doesn’t want to explain it. Maybe he can’t. Maybe that’s why he ran. The issue still presents itself as completely bizarre and impossible and Shouyou suspects it always will. He has a hard time wrapping his head around what it actually means. For a while he held out some hope that it would sink in if only he gave it time, but the truth is he hardly even dares thinking about it. The more he does, the more it unsettles him, and the less he understands. Tobio obviously had valid reasons for remaining mysterious.

And yet, Shouyou just can’t help but head down to the river in the evenings and on weekends, telling himself that he’s _not_ looking for Tobio but knowing in his heart of hearts that the opposite is true. It used to be their personal meeting spot, something that’s already settled in him as a habit hard to break. It’s the place where it all started, that led to what they have now. What they _had._ He always pauses before he steps out of the shrubs and onto the riverbank, his eyes closing briefly in an intent hope that Tobio will be there this time, waiting for him.

He never seems to get his wish fulfilled, though. The river is deserted this evening as well, like every other evening since the incident, and once again Shouyou’s heart sinks. He can taste the disappointment, sharp and clear and heavy in his chest, filling every corner and cavity, but there’s also a hint of relief mixed in there. He honestly has no idea how he’d react if he saw him again now, or what he would even say to him.

Shouyou flicks a couple of stones across the surface but none of them skips. They just cut through the water with a loud _plop!_ and disappear, leaving short-lived rings in the water. He contemplates the stream for a while, hands in his pockets, before he heads downstream. He follows the river slowly and keeps walking until he gets closer and closer to the village. It doesn’t take long before he stumbles upon a fisher standing in the middle of the river, an elderly man wearing waders and a sunhat. Shouyou recognizes him immediately as old Coach Ukai. He used to train his high school’s old volleyball team and became well known for running a rather tight ship, but he has long since retired. His title still remains, however; to everyone in the village he’ll always be known as Coach.

He spots him and raises his hand in a greeting. “Oh, if it isn’t Shouyou! Haven’t seen you around here in quite a while.”

“Homework’s kept me busy over the summer,” he lies easily and smiles. “Caught anything yet, Coach?”

“Nah.” The old man chuckles. “I think the fish knows I’m just standing here like a fool.”

Shouyou crouches down by the river and watches him for a while, enjoying the peaceful, repetitive sound of the fishing line cutting smoothly through the air.

“I bet you hear this all the time but the older you get, the more you look like your father,” the Coach remarks, squinting at him from under the brim of his sunhat. “You take after him in spirit as well. Can’t help but think that whenever I see you. How long has it been now? Ten years?”

“Eleven.”

“Time flies,” Coach Ukai hums in thoughtful acknowledgement and slowly turns the reel handle. “It always struck me as strange that he should go missing without a trace, just like that,” he says. The glimmering silver lure flits through the water towards him, still without a catch. “He was such an experienced outdoorsman, your father.”

“But so are you, Coach,” Shouyou says and hesitates, unsure of whether or not he should ask. “What… do _you_ think happened to him…?”

“Oh, it’s hard to say.” The Coach rubs his stubbly chin. “I probably can’t tell you anything you haven’t already heard. The mountains can be treacherous, even when you’re familiar with them. Sometimes all it takes is a slippery rock or a bit of unexpected fog to provoke an accident. Sudden illness, weather, terrain, wolves – those things are beyond our control. It happens to the best of us, Shouyou.”

Shouyou doesn’t even register the word at first, it was mentioned so quickly and casually, but when he does he can only focus on that word. He forgets everything else he was just told and continues to replay that one word in his mind, like an echo, his pulse speeding up.

“Sir, did you just say _wolves_ …?”

His question gives the old man a turn and he stares at him in mild panic, as though he wasn’t even aware he said it out loud. He laughs nervously and waves his hand dismissively.

“Oh, no, it was nothing, forget I said that. I wasn’t even – I mean, it’s just the nonsense ramblings of an old man, really, you don’t wanna hear it…”

“No, please tell me.” Shouyou straightens up, urging him to go on. “What is it about wolves?”

“It’s just a silly legend –”

“Coach – please.”

Coach Ukai considers his imploring face for a moment before he sighs, his expression regretful but resigned. He reels in his fishing line, wades towards land, and sits heavily down next to him.

“Okay, then – take what I’m about to tell you with a large grain of salt, because at the end of the day it’s really nothing but old folktales. You understand?”

Shouyou’s heart is pounding something fiercely but he nods firmly nonetheless, eyes wide and attentive.

“You may already know that wolves have been extinct in Japan for decades already. If you _really_ want to see a real wolf in the flesh you’ll have to go to a zoo or overseas somewhere, right? Now forget all about real wolves because this isn’t about them. You’ve probably heard about the legend of the mountain deity, how wolves were considered to be their divine messengers?”

“Yeah, but they weren’t bad or anything. Those wolves would guide people back home if they were lost – didn’t they?”

“ _Those_ wolves would, sure,” the Coach nods in agreement, smiling a little. “But there’s another legend that talks about a different kind of wolf – the wolf _people,_ to be precise. This legend is a local variant, very specific to these parts of the country, so it’s probably off the official folklore record. And I guess its sources are a bit dubious, too, I don’t think it’s something they’d mention in school?”

Shouyou shakes his head slowly. His heart is beating so hard now he can hear his own pulse in his ears, loud and clear. “I… I’ve never heard of the wolf people.”

“Well, like the name suggests these people are human beings like us, except they have the ability to turn into a wolf. The legend says they’re a peaceful people, they’re reclusive and shy and like to keep to themselves, preferably up in the mountains. But they can also be dangerous, even savage, if you happen to run into them while they’re in wolf form. They lose touch with their humanity when they’re like that.”

Shouyou can only stare at him, his mouth dry like sandpaper. A million conflicting thoughts are racing through his mind and none of them slows down enough to make sense.

“Where… where did this legend come from?”

The old man shrugs. “Where most other legends come from, I suppose. Someone took a real incident, spiced it up, and then it snowballed from there. Things like that tend to evolve and escalate on their own if given some hundred years of storytelling.”

He chuckles at his own remark before glancing over at Shouyou only to realize he’s not laughing. His expression softens.

“Honestly, it’s not worth paying any mind, Shouyou. Legends are just stories and that’s all there is to this: a story. I’m sure that’s not what really happened to your father and I apologize for bringing it up like that. Letting your own words get ahead of you too often is something you’ll experience once you reach my age.”

Shouyou has no idea how he’s supposed to respond so he says nothing. Instead he just nods absently and hugs his knees, staring up at the fog-covered peak of the mountain towering in the distance. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. He got way more than he asked for. The pieces of the puzzle seem to fit and he thinks he understands, somehow. But if he can accept it is another matter entirely. It’s hard to believe that his father’s disappearance should have anything to do with this at all, but if it’s actually true then the evidence is pointing to that mountain and the people that might be dwelling there.

That also includes Tobio.

 

**

 

The first snowfall happens already in November, and once it starts it hardly ever lets up. Come December the trees are already bent double under the heavy snow and the surrounding fields are nothing but an endless sea of white. The world is so peaceful and pure but with every passing day Shouyou’s confusion slowly transforms into anger.

He hasn’t heard from or even seen Tobio ever since that day at the lookout. It seems he’s determined to hide away and remain isolated up there in the mountains forever. Shouyou has often been standing at the edge of the forest just gazing up at that snow-covered peak, his hands balled into tight fists, his frozen breath a cloud at his lips. His insides continue to burn with bottled up resentment and he can’t remember ever feeling this angry before.

He has no idea how wolves think or feel; maybe they don’t feel anything except primal instincts. But if the legend’s true and Tobio really belongs to the wolf people, then he’s a human being as well. Humans can’t ignore their emotions, not without consequences and especially not when someone else is involved in their mess. They’ve spent so much time together that a connection has already been established between them. _They_ _fell in love._ What happened should be talked about. Tobio owes it to the both of them.

Shouyou stares gloomily past his own blurry reflection and into the dark winter evening, watching the snowflakes flutter outside the kitchen window. The TV drones on in the living room, the news reporting on a local snowstorm arriving over the next couple of hours. It seems like it’s already building up pretty good out there, judging by the howling wind and the constantly flickering lights.

“Shouyou?” His mother’s reflection shows up next to his own. “Would you please get some more logs for the fire? Better go now before the storm gets any worse.”

Shouyou gets dressed, grabs a flashlight, and heads out into the budding storm. The wind has already picked up speed and it chills him to the bone as it whips through his hair. Their woodshed is only a few meters away from the house but it feels like a mile in this weather. He wades through the snow, struggles with the door, and starts filling his basket. It’s only half full when he hears a sound coming from somewhere behind him. He straightens up and squints into the darkness before directing his flashlight into the vast snowy nothing.

He’s about to shrug it off when, somewhere in the dense tree line, his flashlight catches the reflection of a pair of eyes. Unnerved, Shouyou stares at those two glowing dots, the sound of his heartbeats overpowering the storm. For a few long seconds neither of them moves, but in the end the snow crunches and the illuminated gaze fleetingly drops out of sight. Before Shouyou can even begin to search for it, the dark shadow of an animal emerges from behind the tree trunks.

It’s the black wolf he crossed paths with last summer. It stops, staring straight at him, its blue eyes barely visible in the dark, and Shouyou knows. Everything he’s been told, everything he’s seen – it makes sense. It makes sense because he recognizes him; he knows who the wolf is. His heart shatters into pieces but at this point he’s not even shocked or sad anymore. He’s just furious.

“It’s you – isn’t it, Tobio?” He can barely hear himself over the wind, his voice cracked and weak. “It was you all along and you knew something like this could happen. You’re like _this_ –” he gesticulates into the air, “whatever the hell this is, but you never said anything. Were you ever gonna tell me?”

The wolf lingers in the shadows for a moment, immovable, before it finally takes a couple of steps forward. Big paws sink into the ground, dark fur glimmering with snowflakes, and it enters the wide bluish arc of Shouyou’s flashlight. It stays there, looking at him, its expression blank and open.

“What do you want?” Shouyou asks, trying to keep his voice steady. “Why did you come here? Are you spying on me or something?”

The wolf doesn’t say anything – of course. This isn’t some fairytale with talking animals.

“You seriously think you can just show up like this after disappearing for months? And you couldn’t even come and see me as an actual person? You chose this form to hide behind?”

Tentatively, the black wolf takes another step forward, head lowered, and utters a hoarse, small bark. It doesn’t help much. If anything it only makes Shouyou more frustrated.

“No, shut up,” he scoffs. “I’ve waited for you, you know. I’ve even looked for you! Do you have any idea how many times I went to the river hoping you’d be there? I mean, what the hell! You don’t have to apologize but you owe me at least an explanation. Especially since your people or your _pack_  killed my father!”

He knows it’s really a baseless accusation. He knows that it’s bitter and uncalled-for. Despite knowing more now than before, he still doesn’t know everything. And even if his accusations were true, he hasn’t heard both sides of the story. They haven’t been given the chance to defend themselves. But it’s out there and right now Shouyou is way too upset to care. Eleven years’ worth of untouched grief, hundreds of unanswered questions, the heartbreak over his first love; it’s like all of it is crashing down on him in this very moment.

The wolf stiffens at those words and backs away a little. There’s a confused, almost hurt look in its eyes and Shouyou hates that it’s so clear he’s able to recognize the emotion. The animal stares at him and then lowers its head again, producing a low, long howl that’s clearly only meant for Shouyou’s ears. It’s like watching someone groveling, or begging – and that makes him even angrier. Without thinking he grabs a log of wood and waves it threateningly.

“Get out of here,” he whispers, and as the cold wind hits his face he realizes he’s crying. “Get out of my sight!” He’s yelling now, tears streaming. “Just go! Leave!”

He throws the log at the wolf, misses, and immediately chucks another one. This one hits right above one of its hind legs with a loud smack, drawing a startled, high-pitched whimper. The wolf jumps hesitantly back and considers the third log clutched in his raised hand. Then it circles around in one big leap and disappears into the storm, leaving Shouyou gasping for breath.

His mother looks up in confusion once he’s finally made it inside with his basket.

“Who on earth were you talking to out there? I heard you yelling.”

He shrugs, quickly wiping his icy cheeks with the back of his hand. “No one,” he mutters. “Just thought I saw some kind of animal.”

 

**

 

Shouyou can’t sleep at all that night. He doesn’t know if it’s just a product of his imagination but in between the violent gusts of wind he thinks he can hear the distant howling of wolves. He buries his face in his pillow, fuming, trying to block the sound out. When he closes his eyes all he can see is Tobio’s intensely blue gaze. It angers him that he can’t tell whether he’s picturing human eyes or wolf eyes but he just can’t stop thinking about it. In the end he can’t deal with it anymore. He needs to get out of the house and out of his own head. Since the snowstorm has yet to die down it’s a stupid idea and he’s well aware of that, but if he doesn’t get to drain some of this restless, irritable energy he’s going to scream.

He sneaks soundlessly out of his room, tiptoes to check on his Mom and his little sister, and quickly throws on a coat and winter boots. He wraps a scarf around his neck, pulls a beanie on, and grabs a pair of gloves as well as a flashlight. He glances at the clock on the wall as he heads outside, trying to keep as quiet as possible. It shows exactly midnight.

The wind has really picked up compared to earlier; so much that Shouyou almost changes his mind. He sweeps his flashlight over the snow-covered yard, barely catching a glimpse of the tree line through the storm. The wind whistles in his ears and the howling continues to fade in and out of his senses. Steeling himself against the horrible weather, Shouyou steps outside and trudges through the snow, which by now reaches him easily to the knees. He doesn’t stop until he’s arrived at the very edge of the forest. His flashlight only illuminates the nearest trees and the drifting snowflakes, but beyond that there’s nothing but a thick wall of speckled darkness.

He frowns angrily up at the mountain, his jaw set. He doesn’t want to walk too far away from the house because in these conditions his footsteps will be erased within minutes, seconds even, but he figures it won’t hurt continuing through the forest. There’s much less snow in there thanks to the density of the trees and his tracks might stay, so he sees no reason to stop soldiering on. Deep down he knows he should have stopped at the front door. He knows how stupid and pointless all of this is, not to mention extremely dangerous, but he’s on this path now. For some reason all that’s in his head is to move forward, to let his anger fuel him because it will be good for him. It’s going to sort everything out. He has no idea in what way but he’s managed to convince himself of this, and his mind won’t budge once it’s decided on something.

Before he knows it Shouyou has made it through the forest, his flashlight illuminating the small river ahead. Their meeting spot looks completely different now. It’s bleak and eerie in its winter coating and the river has partly frozen over with a thin sheet of ice. It cracks when Shouyou steps on it. He hesitates for a second or two but takes his chances on crossing – it’s not a very deep river nor is it strong. Still, he can feel the icy water seep in through his boots as he staggers his way to the other side.

It’s when Shouyou finds himself struggling to climb the steep, rocky foot of the mountain that the sheer stupidity of everything hits him. The storm is even worse now, he’s cold and exhausted and aching all over, his clothes are heavy and soggy, and truthfully, he isn’t sure exactly where he is. His flashlight keeps flickering off and on and he can barely see his own hand in front of him. And it’s not like he thought about bringing his phone with him.

What the hell is he even doing? For how long has he been walking? Was he hoping to find Tobio waiting for him? Maybe he did. Maybe he’s not angry anymore. Maybe he never heard any howling wolves tonight. Maybe it was just his regret echoing through his head, making him go momentarily insane. What’s certain is that he’s on a dangerous, pointless trek right now and he’ll freeze to death if he stays out here.

Shouyou tries to take another step but his knees buckle under him. He completely drained himself to get here, which is nowhere. He flops onto his back, sinking into the snow. He can feel it getting stuck in his hair, melting against his neck, trickling down the back of his coat. He flicks the switch on his flashlight but it only stutters a couple of times before dying out completely. All he is left with now is the pitch-black darkness, the relentlessly howling wind, and the faint ghostly light emitted by the snowy hills surrounding him. He looks up at the gaping sky above. If he just went down the same trail he came he’d probably find his way back, but the snow keeps drifting and he’s pretty sure his tracks have been partially covered by now. It won’t take long before they’ve been erased. And he’s just _so_ tired.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters to himself, his lips numb and his eyelids heavy. “I’m sorry I’m such a dumbass…”

It’s funny, though – Shouyou doesn’t feel so cold anymore. He’s actually pretty comfortable, lying there in the snow. He can’t hear the raging storm, can’t hear himself breathing, can’t hear his own heartbeats; he can’t hear anything. He could fall asleep here, in the middle of nowhere, in the cold dark. Now that he thinks about it he doesn’t mind that so much.

Before he drifts off he finds himself thinking about Tobio. He really regrets being angry with him. To be closed-minded and irrational is not like him at all. And now Tobio probably hates him. But… they were also skipping stones at one point, weren’t they? They’ve been hiking, swimming, climbing, kissing… Those are really good things. Those _were_ really good things. He closes his eyes, sighing. They did all of it together.

 _I like you_ , he thinks. _Even though you’re not like most people, I still like you._

For an indefinite amount of time Shouyou knows nothing. Everything around him just slowly fades out, his senses switching off, one by one. Then, abruptly, he wakes up again, a shallow gasp escaping him. Confused, he stares into the darkness, his mind muddled and blurry. He has no idea for how long he’s been out of it. He manages to lift an arm and rubs his soaked glove across his face, lumps of snow falling into his eyes and mouth. He’s still lying in the same spot, it’s still windy and pitch-black – but something’s different.

Shouyou frowns when he feels someone nudging his shoulder – gently at first and then with a bit more force. He wonders if he might be dreaming after all. He’s getting delirious lying here and that’s never a good sign. He waits – and then he feels it again, out of nowhere. This time it’s not a nudge so much as it is something cold poking at his already frozen cheek. He has no idea what it is but it feels like a lump of ice and he doesn’t like it one bit. He groans and waves his hand around drowsily, and at one point he hits something unidentifiable and solid, right next to him. He tries pushing it away, whatever it is, but it won’t budge. Instead that feeling of an ice cube being pressed against his cheek returns, except this time it’s followed by a warm puff of air, like a very heavy sigh. This truly sparks something in Shouyou and yanks him back into his senses. He opens his eyes and blinks, staring into the darkness, trying to see what’s there.

When his eyes finally adjust he can make out the silhouette of something big towering over him. At first he’s not sure if it’s a person or an animal, but as the shape moves closer he can clearly see the sharp peaks of two ears, a ragged head, and a pair of blue eyes so bright they’re almost their own source of light. Shouyou reaches up and carefully pats the creature’s head, feeling the warmth of the soft fur on his frozen fingertips.

“Tobio–?” he manages, his voice barely audible. “Is that you…?”

The wolf replies by breathing another warm puff of air into his face, carefully nuzzling his hair. Shouyou takes that as a ‘yes’. The animal spends some time just observing him, blinking slowly. Then it pulls away and throws its head back to release a howl towards the snowy skies. It’s loud and long drawn, piercing cleanly through the night and echoing up the mountainside. There’s a moment of silence where the wolf waits, moving ears listening in, and soon a reply reaches them in the shape of another faint howl, muffled by wind and distance.

Shouyou watches as the wolf settles down next to him and rests its head heavily on his chest. Its body is so warm, like a furnace. Shouyou groans weakly. His voice is gone, his mind is sluggish and groggy, and he’s not sure if he can even feel his limbs anymore. He feels nice and warm here, in Tobio’s company. All he wants is to fall asleep.

After a while he’s faintly aware of being dragged out of his cocoon of snow and into an upright position. He’s hauled and shoved and pushed onto his feet but it all happens surprisingly gently. Next thing he knows he’s hoisted off the ground, creating a moment of weightlessness, and then he sinks, face first, into thick fur. An insistent nudge at his hands tells him to hold on, and after that Shouyou doesn’t remember much. All he knows is that he’s being carried carefully up the mountainside.

 

**

 

When Shouyou wakes up it’s still dark, except this time he’s somewhere warm and dry. He blinks the blurriness out of his eyes. The room is unfamiliar and small, only lit by the distorted gleam from the fireplace in the corner, where his coat and boots are propped up for drying. He stares up at the dark shadows dancing across the roof. It’s slanted and low with thick wooden logs for beams, the same as the walls. It seems he must be in an old cabin somewhere.

“How’re you feeling…?”

The quiet, hesitant voice startles him and he turns to find Tobio sitting next to his bed. The lively fire throws an otherworldly glow over his very human features and his expression is vigilant and attentive, even a little anxious. It’s strange seeing him like this now that Shouyou knows for certain he’s also a wolf. It’s like he’s been spying on a secret side of him, on something intimate and personal that he was never meant to see, and for a split second he fails to recognize him. But those blue eyes are unmistakable. He knows this boy and that’s a relief.

Shouyou sits up in the creaky bed and gives his body a mental once-over. His head hurts and his throat is sore, but he’ll gladly take that over dying from hypothermia.

He shrugs. “I’m okay.”

There’s an awkward pause where Tobio hides his eyes behind his hair and Shouyou stares at a large crack in the wall. Luckily the moment is interrupted by a soft knock on the door, saving them from further embarrassment.

There’s something vaguely familiar about one of the two boys entering the room. Shouyou has seen that observant expression before, as well as the cowlick in his wavy hair, and slowly it dawns on him who it is. He’s obviously grown a lot since then but this is definitely the older brother Tobio was waiting for the day they first met. The other boy following him is a stranger, however; he also looks a bit older but is of a more athletic build, with dark, spiky hair and an intimidating appearance.

“Wow, he lives!” the boy with the cowlick exclaims. He plops down next to Shouyou. “To brave this weather isn’t only dangerous but also incredibly stupid. You’re lucky you didn’t die out there.”

“I know…” Shouyou mutters and looks down, blushing a deep crimson. “I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused…”

“Oh, it’s fine! It’s not like I’ll help save you again so if it happens a second time it’s not my problem!” He says this with a smile so cheery it’s out of place and then points at the boy with the spiky hair. “This here is Hajime; he was the one who carried you up the mountain. I’m Tooru,” he adds casually. “We were out tonight looking for Tobio, because Tobio was looking for _you_. He was worried earlier, he said he could sense you out there in the storm. Then he just shifted into wolf form and took off, simple-minded as he is. Imagine our surprise when he actually signaled that he’d found you.”

Shouyou dares a glance at Tobio, who seems determined to look everywhere else but back at him, his cheeks glowing. His heart clenches painfully, both with genuine affection and guilty conscience. Tobio went out there searching for him, without hesitation, despite all those things he said to him. He could still sense he was there and he cared enough to worry, even though he must’ve been hurt and angry. Just the thought of it makes Shouyou feel like crying.

“Honestly, though, your hair alone is like a beacon,” Tooru continues. “I’m pretty sure any of us would have found you in the end.”

“But not _alive_ ,” Hajime corrects him dryly. “You idiot.”

A pregnant silence fills the room, seeping in between the low crackling from the fire and the howling storm outside. Shouyou feels like he should say something, anything, but so much has happened in the past few hours that he doesn’t know where to start. It’s starting to sink in that he almost froze to death tonight and he struggles trying to wrap his head around that.

“I knew who you were,” Tooru eventually says, head inclined towards him. “When you two kids were skipping stones by the river that day, I pretty much recognized you the moment I saw you. I figured that ridiculous hair color could only be genetic.”

Shouyou looks up at him and frowns. “What… what do you mean?”

“I mean I saw your father, years ago. From what I can recall he really resembled you a lot. And I also know what you _think_ we did to him,” he adds matter-of-factly, and Shouyou’s heart flips uncomfortably. “Tobio told us what you said. A bit of an unfair accusation, don’t you agree?”

“I wasn’t – I didn’t –” he stutters, scrambling to apologize. “I – I’m sorry, but I –”

Surprisingly, his poor attempt at an apology is only interrupted by a shrug. “Hey, I just said it was unfair. Not that you were necessarily wrong.”

The wry smile on Tooru’s lips quickly fades away, taking with it the last warm glow in his brown eyes, leaving the faintest trace of sadness.

“We were still kids back then but I do remember a few things. You have to understand that there are a lot more of us than you’d think. When you’re like this, with a wolf side you can’t ignore or get rid of, it’s not easy living among normal people. The older you get, the more obvious this becomes. Fortunately, sooner or later we tend to find each other, like there’s some kind of bond between us. We’re not all of us blood related and we come from different walks of life, but what we all have in common is that we’re rejects. We stick together.”

Hajime cuts in with an irritable snort. “Honestly, what are you waxing poetic for? We’re all capable of shapeshifting into wolves and that’s it, that’s what we have in common! Get to the point!”

“I know that!” Tooru snaps. “I’m just giving the boy some background information! So, as I was trying to say –” he continues with an overbearing sigh, “our community used to be much bigger. Truth is, though, nobody really got along. You had those who wanted to live more like normal people, versus those who believed that being able to shapeshift into wolves was a spiritual gift, or a blessing. According to the latter group we weren’t supposed to live in abandoned cabins, or take on odd jobs for extra money, or eat anything besides game meat, or even interact with other people _._ They wanted us to be more like an actual wolf pack.” He hesitates for a second, biting his lip. “They wanted us to completely give up on our humanity and live only as wolves.”

Shouyou clutches the sheets in his hands, his skin prickling with tight goose bumps. The silence in the room is so full and heavy he can practically feel the weight of it on his heart. He already knows the answer to his question but he still has to ask.

“So… what happened? To my Dad?”

Tooru sighs quietly. “Your father wandered onto our turf by accident. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The mountain river is a great fishing spot, so I suspect he’d been there plenty of times before. But on that day he was just… he was seen by the wrong wolves. The rest of the group drove them away but it was already too late by then.”

Shouyou’s mind is reeling. So it really was a wolf attack. He isn’t surprised or shocked, he already knew the story was headed in this direction, but it’s still heartbreaking. It’s like a fog has been lifted from him only to leave a lingering trace of wistfulness. He’s not so much sad as he’s sorry, even though there’s nothing he could possibly have done. He just feels bad for the way his father died. He feels bad for his mother, who was left to manage on her own, and for Natsu, who never got the chance to know him.

“That part of your pack… are they still around?” he asks, his voice distant.

“Not with us,” Hajime assures him. “They left the group after that and we haven’t seen them since. They’re very reclusive – and probably full-time wolves by now, too.”

Another stretch of silence fills the room. Tobio’s eyes linger on him, a burning gaze he can’t bring himself to meet just yet.

“Your father is buried up here,” Tooru says softly. “That’s the one thing I remember very clearly, that we held a funeral for him. It’s not much but it’s a grave. You should come back in summer and visit.”

Behind that easy-going exterior and all those carefully chosen words, Shouyou can tell that Tooru feels guilty. He’s the kind of person you would expect to see fronting a large group, a leader in the making, and he’s been shouldering all this inherited guilt even though it was never his fault. Shouyou is grateful to him for it.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely, in hopes of taking some of that guilt away. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

A flicker of surprise appears in his eyes, followed by a brief glimpse of relief. Then he grins widely and shrugs. “I wasn’t looking for brownie points or anything. Thank Tobio instead; he was the one who saved you after all.” He gets up, stifling a yawn as he gives his back and shoulders a thorough stretch. “You should get ready and go home before your mother finds out you’re missing and sends a search party after you. Hajime is the strongest of us so he’ll take you back.”

The two boys exit the room, leaving them alone. Their only company now is the sound of the wind rattling the windows. There’s no sign of daybreak yet and the storm is still going, although the heavy snowfall seems to have let up a little.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Shouyou looks up at the sound of Tobio’s voice. His eyes are averted, his hands folded in his lap, and the dying embers of the fire leaves his face partially in shadows.

“I knew I had to say something at one point, and I wanted to, especially after we… well, you know.” He pauses, his ears turning visibly red even in the dark. “I guess it’s not the easiest thing to talk about, though. Like, ‘hey, by the way, I can change into a wolf’…?” Tobio looks up at him and smiles crookedly. “It’s the kind of thing that sends people running.”

“But instead you were the one who ran away. When we were on the lookout, when you suddenly… changed.”

Tobio’s breath hitches in his throat. His gaze drops again, his eyebrows pinched into a worried frown, and for a moment it looks like he’s going to cry. He stares at the fireplace, then at the roof, before his eyes finally reconnect with Shouyou’s.

“You know that big stag we saw... it could’ve fed us all through the winter. We’d been hunting it for several months. That’s what I was doing the day we ran into each other on the road. I was tracking it but I ended up losing its scent. So when it suddenly showed up again on the lookout I just – I don’t know. I forgot myself. I had no idea I could surrender to the wolf in me so completely and it freaked me out. I figured anything was possible at that point and so... yeah. I ran. It’s obviously never supposed to happen. I _can_ control the wolf side of me,” he adds insistently. “You don’t have to be afraid or anything, I’m just – I’m sorry if I ruined everything by doing that.”

Shouyou takes one look at his pleading expression, his heart nothing but an aching knot by now, and he doesn’t even hesitate. He reaches out and grabs Tobio’s hands in both of his, carefully tugging him closer until he can knock their foreheads together. The heat from his skin is a stark contrast to his own and creates a burning sensation that immediately takes root in his body, warming him up. He loops his arms around his neck, pulling him so close the tips of their noses touch.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he whispers. “I said and did some things I didn’t mean and I’m pretty sure that’s what drove me to climb the mountain in the first place, because I was feeling guilty. I’m _not_ afraid of you. You didn’t ruin anything; you saved my life. Just don’t disappear like that again, okay?”

“…Okay.” He feels Tobio nod against him. “I promise.”

Shouyou smiles and tilts his head, seeking out the other boy’s lips for a careful, gentle kiss. He leans into Tobio’s arms, clumsily following the motions until his breath stutters and threatens to leave him completely.

“See?” He grins when they break apart, cheeks flushed. “Nothing’s ruined!”

Tobio’s hot breath ghosts across his lips. His warm hands stay resting at his waist while he quietly searches for words.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about how we met last summer,” he finally says, looking down. “That time... It was all just luck, really. After the stag escaped I came back to the river as a human, hoping it would return once it couldn’t sense a wolf anymore. I waited for hours and was just about to give up and go home when you showed up instead. I didn’t expect to see you again at all and I definitely didn’t think you’d want to hang out with me. I’m not used to being with other people and I… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Things would’ve been so different now if I never met you. It changed everything for me. So if – if things had gone wrong out there tonight and you –”

He stops abruptly. It looks like he’s on the verge of tears again but Shouyou only catches a brief sight of it before he’s pulled into an embrace that nearly knocks the air out of him.

“Hey, it’s okay! Don’t cry!” Shouyou laughs, hugging him back as tightly as he can. “I’m sorry for making you worry. But I showed up, didn’t I? Thanks to you I’m right here.”

 

**

 

A sliver of sunlight falls across the empty gravestone, highlighting the swirls of pollen and dandelion seeds in the air. Shouyou kneels down and carefully writes his father’s kanji on the stone with a marker, before he presses his palms together. He tries to organize his thoughts, eyes closed against the gentle mountain breeze, but it’s hard to pin any of them down. Instead he decides that just being present is more than adequate. There’s no need for him to think or act a certain way. It’s enough for him to simply be here.

He gets up and bows slightly, knowing that he can safely leave eleven years’ worth of unanswered questions right here. He feels at peace with that.

A hand comes to rest against the small of his back, rubbing careful circles, the warmth seeping through the fabric of his shirt. “You okay?”

Shouyou looks up at Tobio with a little smile and nods. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he assures him. “Thanks for coming with me.”

Last summer was filled with forest discoveries and budding romance. This summer, Shouyou has spent most of his time in the mountains together with Tobio and the rest of his group. It’s not a big or in any other way remarkable community. They’re just an unlikely mix of friendly people existing together and taking care of each other the best they can, like a genuine found family. Absolutely nothing about them implies coldblooded murderers or even vicious wolves – all in all they’re really not that different from the rest of the world. Shouyou intently hopes they’ll all stay and that they’ll find a good, sustainable life here. If they don’t, he knows he’ll at least have Tobio. They’ve promised each other that much.

He nudges his hand against Tobio’s and interlaces their fingers. “I, uh, I told my Mom,” he admits after a while. “And Natsu. About you and… everyone. About what happened up here.”

“Oh…” Tobio tenses up next to him, a flash of caution dancing across his face. “Okay… So what did she say? Your Mom?”

“It’s funny, actually… She told me when Natsu was younger she was always going on and on about ‘howling dogs’ up in the mountains. She assumed it was just Natsu’s overactive imagination until she heard them herself one night. It’s hard for her to believe but it’s not like she doubts your existence or anything. Plus she’s not the type to leave out one possibility just because it sounds unlikely. So with time, I think she’ll accept it. Maybe she’ll want to come up here herself, too, when she’s ready.”

Tobio hums thoughtfully and gives his hand a light, comforting squeeze. “Have you ever considered telling her about… the fact that we… you know…” The rest of his sentence trails off into nothing and he quickly glances away, his ears taking on a shade of pink.

“You mean have I told her about _us_?” Shouyou grins. “I already did. She’s super excited to meet you later.”

Tobio whips around to look at him, eyes wide. “She – what – later _today_?”

“Today! She said she’d make iced tea and cook dinner for us and everything, so yeah. She’s waiting.” He elbows him playfully in the ribs. “You better show up.”

“Wow.” Tobio stares vacantly at the gravestone for a moment, looking both caught off guard and adorably confused at the same time. “Alright,” he then sighs and nods slowly. “That sounds terrifying but I guess you’ve met my family. It’s only fair I meet yours.”

“Don’t worry, my Mom’s great. She’s very open-minded and she certainly doesn’t blame any of you guys for what happened. I’m pretty sure she’ll like you – even though you’re different from most people.” Shouyou tugs on his hand and beams. “Just like I do!”

Squinting one eye against the sun, Tobio looks back at him, amazed. “Fine, then, dumbass,” he mutters, a genuine smile surfacing to compete with his blushing cheeks. “Let’s get going.”

They leave behind a simple gravestone completely covered in sunflowers, the yellow blossoms bright and vibrant against the mossy greens and hard greys. The display is chaotic but intense and full of life, just like Shouyou’s relationship with Tobio has been the past year. He wouldn’t want it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this the weakest thing I’ve ever written? Possibly. And I needed 15k words for it, go figure *sigh*
> 
> You know when you have a tiny dumb concept that turns serious and suddenly you come up with all this lore that you just can’t get out of? Because that’s what happened here. In my personal opinion it’s a big story with very little in it, but all I really wanted was to write a Kagehina AU I hadn't written before and at least I've done that! I hope you liked it anyway. Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Feel free to talk to me on twitter [@tsun_derei](https://twitter.com/tsun_derei)!


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